Baby Race...Maybe

A lot of women who haven't had trouble with infertility won't understand this feeling I've had lately, though a lot of women who have waited till later in life to have children will completely understand. It's hard to watch the people around you have babies when you want one of your own, it's especially hard if you have fertility issues like I and millions of other women have.

It's like every woman around you is having kids and every pregnancy announcement is a slap in the face. You dread even checking your facebook wall because you don't want to know who else is pregnant now. It was a slap in the face to me that, of all people, Kim Kardashian got pregnant before me. No, I don't know her personally but I don't agree with having a child with one man while married to another, no matter if they are in the midst of a divorce.

Recently, I attended a baby shower for my cousin's wife. I don't know her well and don't see them much except for at the occasional family function. I don't begrudge them a baby because they've had a loss just like I have. Those are actually the babies that I am happy to see are coming. Then I noticed something that really has my biological clock revving up to overdrive.

My 24 year-old cousin, T, just got married in December. It was a beautiful wedding but some of the circumstances had us questioning whether it was a "shotgun wedding" because it seemed rather rushed. We wondered if maybe because of their religious beliefs, T and her hubby weren't saying anything because they didn't want people to think they were having sex out of wedlock. Turns out she's not prego but at the baby shower she made it a point to say they were going to wait until summer 2014 before they start TTC.

Now, to a woman that has kids, that statement wouldn't bother them. After all, most newlyweds are constantly fielding the question as to when they are going to have kids.  But to me, who has baby fever after a forced 4 month break from TTC because of my thyroid, that is like flashing a sign in front of my face that says: "Warning...Your Cousin Who Is 8 Years Younger Than YOU Could Have a Baby Before YOU!!!"

So, I try to ignore that sign and continue on at the shower as if nothing is happening. After all, most of that side of my family doesn't even believe DH and I should have kids after what happened with our angels and because of DH's chromosome defect. I don't even discuss it with them because at this point, after almost 7 years of TTC from start (before getting pg with DD) to now, I don't believe it's any of their business since they have that attitude about us having kids. I know they think that because they don't want to see us go through anymore losses, but it hurts my feelings because we want kids and they don't want that for us.

We get to the game portion of the shower and we play this game where you match candy bar names to pregnancy & birthing terms.  After it was over, the sister of the mommy-to-be offered blank copies of the game to anyone who wanted it for future use. Well, my aunt, T's mom, jumps up and gets one. You have to know my aunt to see what I was seeing. She's not a planner by any means and she doesn't really host a lot of parties. This made me begin to wonder if maybe T and her hubby are TTC but not telling anyone but their parents.

So, now I'm on a mission to have a baby before T and her hubby. We start TTC again this cycle. Keeping our fingers crossed that we have one by the end of the year.

Trying to De-Stress Myself

In my last post I mentioned just how stressed I am about not TTC, and it was definitely true. I'm envious of those people that get PG so easily because I've never been one of them.

I really think my thyroid meds have my hormones so out of whack that I don't really know what to think half the time. I'm taking time out to evaluate what it is that DH and I need now, and I think I really need to just let this go until my thyroid gets regulated.

I'm not giving up, but I'm not making it easy to stress myself out about it. I'm hiding my BBT thermometer, OPKs, and PG tests so I won't be tempted to temp or pee on anything. I think I need to totally put it out of my head at this time.

I am hoping my thyroid will regulate within the next 6 months, still and will proceed to the RE if it's not. I am also hoping to find a full time job, either at home or outside of the home, so DH and I can relieve one more stressful burden, living with my parents.

We both are hoping that finding good ways to combat the stress of our situation will make this forced break easier.

So Frustrating

It has been so stressful not TTC this cycle, and I know this stress is going to continue as long as we are on this forced break.

I figured it would be easy because I stopped temping, using OPKs, and checking CM & CP but it hasn't been easy to just relax and stop trying all together. Of course, part of me wants to keep trying and the other part of me is saying that I know this break is for the best.

I guess I just kinda feel like this break is taking even more time away that we can't get back. I mean, when we started TTC almost 7 years ago, we thought at this point we'd have a couple of healthy, living children. Now, every time I babysit my nephews or my best friends kids, I can't help but think, "If we have kids, these kids are going to be old enough to babysit for us by the time our kids are this age." Then part of me wonders if it's ever going to happen.

It's really frustrating to know that I have no control over what is going on, though I am thankful that we finally have everything diagnosed so I'm not fighting an impossible battle. I just feel so discouraged right now, but I do know there's hope and I'm planning for a future with kids. I've decided that I'm going to give my GP until March 15 next year (6 months from diagnosis) to try to get my hypothyroid regulated and if it's not by then, I'm remaking the appointment with the RE that I canceled this month and am going to let her take it from there.

I also realize that even if my levels are within the normal range by that time, I will still have to go to the RE because they won't be optimal for pregnancy. Most GPs only care about getting the levels in a normal lab range, not getting them to an optimum level. I did find some of my lab results from 2 years ago and according to standards set in 2008, the levels were high but it wasn't treated because the lab that ran the test had a higher range they considered normal. This is such crap because I could have been diagnosed then and been regulated by now.

There are a lot of things that I would go back a few years to change and that would be one of them. I'm going to try to relax over the next couple of months and try to forget about TTC. The problem is that I'm just hitting the 6 week mark on my thyroid meds and I want to track my BBTs to see if it's having any effect on my cycles. I don't necessarily want to use it to TTC but I know that if I do track them, it's going to make the TTA (trying to abstain) harder to stick to, especially if I start Oing on my own thanks to the meds.

Getting it Right

In order to try to boost my chances at getting my thyroid levels as well as my A1C optimized (and below diabetic levels), I'm trying something new. I've been unsuccessful at changing my eating habits in the past because in part that I'm lazy and don't want to have to keep track of every little thing but also because it's hard to keep yourself on track. I also freely admit, I don't like to exercise. I'm a couch potato.

I've tried several different things this year including doing Weight Watchers on my own and doing the Eat to Live program. I believe both of these programs can work wonderfully for people and before I had thyroid issues Weight Watchers worked great for me.  What it comes down to, really, is that when you have hypothyroid your metabolism is working at a fraction of the speed it should be at optimally.

Because the thyroid isn't working optimally, it's harder to keep the motivation to continue plugging away at eating on these plans. At first, of course, I lose weight but that doesn't last past the first week. Then it's up and down like a yoyo. It gets frustrating and makes me want to give up. The only problem is, now I have a goal that I want to reach. It may not happen by December 19th when I get the results of the bloodwork for the first 3 months on thyroid meds, and I realize that's okay.

The important thing is that it happens at all. As long as I give it my best effort, it will work eventually. My goal is to get that IVF scholarship from INCIID and be healthy enough to be accepted by a fertility specialist to do it. I'll focus on having the money to pay for the PGD and doing the fundraising after that. It doesn't matter if it takes a year or more to get my levels right, though I pray that it doesn't take that long, what matters is that I get them optimized and get healthy.

I was very upset after researching what the side effects of hypothyroidism are on a fetus because every side effect was something that our baby, Nora, had. Granted, I don't know how much of her condition was caused by hypothyroidism and how much was caused by DH's chromosome defect, but the fact remains that if I had been diagnosed then, she might be alive today.

I realize that my condition did start in pregnancy. I started having a racing heart beat early in pregnancy, I was always tired (the kind of tired where I'd take a nap at work then go home and take a nap plus sleep eight hours or more a night), and I put on weight fast despite eating well the first few months.

This makes me realize just how important getting it right is because if I don't, we might never have children of our own. We have always said we'd like to adopt children as well as having our own, but when that's the only possibility a little part of your heart dies. I'm not saying we wouldn't love that child any less because that would still be our baby, but not getting to be there at birth and not getting to carry it, that would be heartbreaking.

Finally A Diagnosis

I went to the doc today to get my well woman exam and results from bloodwork I had done last week. I was diagnosed as being diabetic, hypothyroidic, and Vitamin D deficient. They think the diabetes may be related to my thyroid issues, so they aren't going to put me on any medication for it or have me track my blood sugars yet. They want me to go back in 3 months and have my fasting blood sugar/A1C, tsh levels, and Vitamin D levels checked again. Then if my A1C drops that means the diabetes is related to the thyroid issues and I won't be put on medication, but if not then I go on Metformin.
I know it's not right to be relieved to have these problems, but a big part of me is relieved because I've been telling doctors for years that something is wrong and I literally could not lose weight no matter what I did. They, of course, started me on the smallest dosage of synthroid they possibly could, but I'm hopeful that there will be a turn around in my symptoms. I, honestly, feel like the people on Mystery Diagnosis who after so many years and doctors find out what's wrong with them and that they aren't imagining symptoms.
The sad thing is that we have to wait until we get my thyroid levels normalized to continue TTC. I really don't want to put it on hold, but I will if there's going to be developmental problems caused by it if I get pg. I'm hoping that with diet and exercise I can really start boosting my weight loss and help out my thyroid. I'm also still going to the chiropractor and getting treatments for insulin resistance and thyroid issues. I hope between the synthroid and the treatments at the chiro that I can get this regulated very quickly.

Still Trying

I'm still plugging away at my lunaception, and have come to the conclusion that it might take longer than the estimated 3 months of sleeping in complete darkness before my body resets itself. I haven't been doing the grounding as much because, let's face it, it's not very fun to put your bare feet on the ground in a bed of dead grass. We have gotten some rain lately, though, so I'm hoping the grass will start perking up and I can get back to my barefooted ways.

I have started going to a chiropractor but not initially for the infertility/hormone balance acupuncture. Every year around this time, I get spasms in my neck and shoulder, well, this year it's been worse than most. I finally broke down and went to the chiropractor and dissected every little issue I have, including infertility. I showed her my BBT chart for this cycle and she took one glance at it and said, "You definitely have thyroid issues. Your temps are way below what they should be." I told her a few times I've taken my temp before bed and they were in the low 98's.

Then, she told me something amazing that I didn't know. She told me before all of these synthetic thyroid medications came out doctors prescribed glandulars to correct thyroid problems. Basically, it's thyroid tissues from animals. They stopped prescribing them when pharmaceutical companies came out with thyroid medications. She told me that I should look online for organic thyroid glandulars and start taking one capsule per day. Before you ask, they aren't the actual raw tissue, it's pulverized and freeze dried into capsules and you take one capsule per day if needed.

But before anyone considers doing this, they need to make sure they need it because the hormones the glandulars emit in the body can damage a healthy thyroid. The thyroid is in control of our metabolism and body temperature, so messing with that, no matter how badly you want a baby, is best under a doctor's care.

Lunaception & Earthing Updates

Okay, this is my assessment of my Lunaception and Earthing experiments. My April cycle started mostly on its own because I hadn't finished a full 2 weeks on the progesterone cream before AF was trying to start and I started spotting on CD39 of that cycle with AF starting 3 days later. My May cycle (the last one) I didn't even start the progesterone cream yet because I was waiting but with AF starting today that cycle was 39 days. Maybe I'm beginning to regulate to a possible 39 day cycle.


I do believe the Lunaception is helping a lot even though my cycles are not quite matching the moon phases yet. My husband and I have both started sleeping in a pitch black room as well as wearing sleep masks to block out any missed light sources. I am going to stop using the nightlight at the full moon until my cycle regulates its self for at least 2 cycles. I do, however, need to get a new BBT thermometer because I think mine is highly inaccurate. If I went by my most recent BBTs, I would think that I had possibly O'd about 2-3 days ago because I had a week of low temps then the last 2 days I had temp rises, but AF ruined that theory by showing her ugly head.


On to the Earthing. I do really enjoy Earthing but find I often do not have enough time to devote at least a half hour a day to do it. Most days I'm lucky if I get 10 minutes in. I can say that the days I do it, I experience less pain in my feet and ankles (I have always had foot and ankle issues) as well as less pain in my back the days that it bothers me.


Earthing makes me feel peaceful, and honestly, it helps me relax before bedtime if it's not too hot outside. I think I would do it just for the stress relieving benefits alone, but I do feel more, excuse the pun, grounded and even-tempered the days I practice it. I would love nothing more than to be able to walk around barefoot outside all the time, but it's not always that easy.


To sum it all up, if you have irregular cycles, for any reason, try Lunaception. It's actually very easy to do and once you get used to sleeping in a pitch black room, it's hard to adjust to sleeping in even a dimly lit room. As for the Earthing, if you need a stress reliever and can't find anything, then try it. It's not dangerous unless you aren't careful where you walk.

Another Few Things to Try

On the days that I go to work at 1pm, I usually watch Dr. Oz while doing my work. Well, last week he had a show called The Dr. Oz Approved 7 Day Crash Diet, or something like that. It's based on Dr. Joel Furhman's nutrient dense diet that has resulted in some of his clients losing 125 pounds in a year. And, most people lose around 10 pounds the first week.

At first, I was skeptical because I don't like crash diets, and it's not really a crash diet if you stay on it but as I watched the show, I realized that it's not really a crash diet, it is a nutrient-dense diet plan. In reality, it's the way we should be eating instead of the way people eat modernly. Basically, you gorge yourself on fruits, vegetables, healthy oils, beans, and nuts. And by "gorge" I mean you can eat as much of these things as you want. You can have healthy cuts of meat and full fat dairy but you only need about 6oz of meat-based protein per day and only 1 serving of dairy products per day. You will get all of the calcium, vitamins, and minerals you need from the nutrient-dense foods you are eating. There are very few nutrients in dairy, meats, and poultry, you are better off getting your protein from beans and nuts.

There is a little bit more to it than what I've said but if you click on the link, you can read up on it and the basics of the plan are there too.

The  second thing that I read recently on one of my favorite sites, Naturally Knocked Up, is about Vitamin A and Fertility. I never really thought about other sources of getting vitamin A other than through orange and red colored fruits and veggies, but this article has really opened my mind to another natural source of vitamin A, whole milk. For many, many years I have drank solely skim milk because it doesn't have the fat in it that regular milks do. Vitamin A helps the reproductive organs function properly and whole milk is a natural source of healthy fats and vitamin A.

The final thing I just discovered today is called earthing. It's based on the principal that all humans create energy and require physical contact with the earth to transfer that energy back to the earth. In this article, Can Walking Barefoot Lower Cortisol and Balance Hormones, this concept is discussed and it is very intriguing. In fact, I spent a half hour outside this morning walking around barefoot and getting my daily dose of vitamin D in, and I could tell in the first 5 minutes that my feet that I normally ache all day had stopped hurting and I felt more energy than I usually do in the mornings. Walking around outside barefoot may not be for everyone, so if that's the case, you can buy earthing sheets and computer mats to help ground your energy. This is also supposed to help with insomnia.

If you try any of these, let me know the results. I'll be posting about my results with hopefully all of these but if not all, at least the earthing.

Lunaception and Sugar Detox Update

It has been a frustrating second cycle with lunaception and a dismal failure on phase 5 of the sugar detox. First, I believed that the lunaception had actually begun working for me the first month because I had high daily temperatures (I didn't track my basal temps because we weren't actively trying that cycle) for a few days then it dipped back down to normal and despite the fact that I was still using the progesterone cream to start my cycles, the next cycle began on its own without me stopping the progesterone cream beforehand.

This cycle, I'm on CD26 and my temps have begun to seesaw drastically, which means an anovulatory cycle. Each day that I have a temp drop we do the baby dance, but I'm disappointed because I may have a significant rise the next day but two days after it'll drop drastically again. I have decided to follow the original author, Louise Lacey's suggestion that until my cycles begin following the moon we sleep in complete darkness. I don't think this will hurt us any to do this for awhile.

As for the sugar detox, I've had a major backslide on it. It's been a difficult month for us financially and when you depend on others for your food supply, it's hard to eat what you need instead of what's available. Phase 5 is when you are supposed to eliminate all refined sources of sugar. I haven't been able to do that and for the first couple of weeks, I managed to keep my intake under 15g of refined sugars per day but we also had some pretty steady money coming in but the last few weeks we have been broke and depending on the food my parents buy to eat. My parents are not healthy eaters and they definitely do not care if foods comply with the sugar detox. My dad tries, he asks me if things are okay but that's only if I'm with him when he goes to the store.

I also haven't lost any weight. Originally when I'd started phase 5 I dropped about 5 pounds but that hasn't stayed off since I've been eating what's available which more often than not contains more than my desired daily intake of refined sugars. I'm hoping to get back on track once we get some money to go grocery shopping.

Acupuncture & Lunaception

At a certain point when TTC for a long time, a woman gets to a breaking point. We are willing to try anything in order to get pregnant. I've done tons of research into natural fertility assistance and it seems to be something that is constantly evolving.

I began working as a housekeeper and nanny three months ago and the couple I work for also have a girl. Jessica, come in that does deep cleaning once a month. So, the first time I met her we got to talking and we both had very similar tales of infertility. The only glaring difference in our stories is that she's slightly overweight because of being very active and eating a strictly healthy, organic diet while because of insulin resistance/estrogen dominance I am 105 pounds over my maximum ideal weight and I've gotten pregnant twice(though the pregnancies themselves weren't successful).

Jessica and her husband had been trying to get pregnant for two years and they'd done everything they could medically to achieve pregnancy, and she'd been on the pill before they started TTC. Jessica hadn't had a cycle in that two years that hadn't been started by provera. So, as a last resort she told me they'd decided she was going to try acupuncture to get her hormones balanced. The chiropractor that does the acupuncture told her that she has had success in helping previously infertile women achieve pregnancy usually within two cycles (or eight acupuncture sessions). Jessica didn't believe her even when she had her first natural cycle start on its own a month later.

I didn't see her until last week and she told me that she successfully conceived after that cycle. Now, I find this amazing because Jessica had high testosterone and estrogen levels and very low progesterone. So, within 4 weeks of doing the acupuncture weekly, her hormones regulated and she got pregnant. She's still in shock and not quite ready to believe she's pregnant despite 2 ultrasounds. I think this is evidence enough to make women consider this a valid therapy to assist them when TTC. My husband and I talked about it and decided that we will try it if I'm not pregnant by this time next year with clomid though I was really pushing for the acupuncture instead.

Now, onto Lunaception. This is something that I've heard about occasionally but never put much credence into. I know I've mentioned the site Naturally Knocked Up before, and about a week ago I found a link on her site to an article she'd written on natural aids to PCOS. As I read the article I noticed, yet again, mention of Lunaception and moon cycling. The purpose of Lunaception is that before electricity and modern society, women's cycles followed the moon phases. They would menstruate at the new moon and ovulate at the full moon. Now that sounds rather simple, doesn't it?

The problem is with modern society that we don't sleep outdoors in perfect darkness with only the moon or firelight as the only sources of light. There are a few things you can do to practice Lunaception.

1. Sleep in a completely dark bedroom. If you can see your hand in front of your face, it's not dark enough, so do what is necessary to make the room so dark you can't see your hand in front of your face. Eliminate any and all sources of light, even electric alarm clocks, so if you have to have one find some fabric dark enough to cover the face of it.
2. If you get up during the night to use the bathroom or for any other reason, install red or orange low wattage light bulbs in the rooms that you go into. This mimics natural sources of light and won't cause early ovulation.
3. On cycle days 14 to 16 you get a dim white (and I mean WHITE) nightlight and turn it on only for those 3 days. This mimics the full moon and stimulates the body to produce the hormones necessary for ovulation.
4. Within 3 months, your cycle should regulate to match the moon phases you are creating and if pregnancy is achieved, you should continue to sleep in a completely dark room throughout your pregnancy.
5. This is more of a tip than a step to Lunaception, but you should go to bed by 10pm each night so you can reset the natural biorhythms of your body. If you go to bed at the same time each night, it will help regulate your cycles faster.

I just started practicing this last night, but this is what I did to start trying to get my cycle to match the moon phases, though if you follow the steps I just listed, you don't absolutely have to match your cycle to the moon phases because you are actually matching your cycles to a night light. First, I downloaded an app on my Palm Pixi that tells me the moon phases and when they occur. The next full moon is May 5th (and in my opinion a great night for it with all the Cinco de Mayo celebrations). Second, I have to eliminate any and all sources of light in our bedroom at night. We already had room darkening curtains, but to guarantee no light coming in, I duct taped them to the metal frame around my window then duct taped a couple of black trash bags on top of them, and put up a pair of thick curtains on the curtain rod.

So, my husband and I go to bed at 10pm every night, but he was shocked by how dark it was. We have our computer in our bedroom so I shut it down because it creates extra light in there. We turned off our light and it's completely dark for a couple of minutes until we both notice that the tower to our computer still has a light on it, so rather than unplug it, I just put a sleep mask on because I'd spent hours trying to get the room completely dark and I was frustrated that I'd missed something. We both slept better than we probably ever have. Now, I'm not hoping it will work this cycle, but I'm not sure what to hope for. I'm not going to match up to the moon phase exactly because I'm already 16 days into my cycle, with no hope for ovulation.

I am seriously considering just postponing ending this cycle until the next new moon so that I can be on track with the moon phases. That's easier for me than most women because I do not have regular cycles and I control mine with progesterone cream, so all I have to do is postpone when I start the cream and stop it the day before the New Moon. Until then, I'll sleep in complete darkness and hope that I am doing the right thing. I haven't done much research into Lunaception but most of the results show even women with PCOS regulating their cycles within 3 months. I'm not going to hold my breath but anything can help.

And, maybe if I do both the acupuncture and Lunaception, I'll get some results.