Good News...Bad News

I had an incident of my menometrogghia last cycle and compared to 2 years ago when I last had it, it was fairly mild.  I did, however, end up going to the doctor's office on Jan. 5 because I wanted to be sure that it wasn't caused by my thyroid meds and also because I was having multiple incidents of rapid heartbeat.  They ran an EKG and bloodwork on me assuring me that the rapid heartbeat was probably caused by anemia due to how long AF had been lasting.  They also told me to start taking my iron again and it should help the rapid heartbeat.

The next day I get a call from them saying that they were calling in a prescription for iron into my pharmacy because my blood iron levels were very low but they'd also requested more intensive deep organ iron levels as well and they'd let me know the results.  I didn't have time to fill it that day, so after I got off work my mom was going to take me to the pharmacy since DH had our car.  Just before we were getting ready to leave to get the iron pills, the doctors office calls me and tells me "Don't take the iron pills. Something came up on the other test we ran and we aren't sure what to make of it.  We are going to make you an appointment with a hematologist.  We'll call you when we get the appointment set up."

Talk about freaking me out.  The only other time I've had a doctor's office make an appointment for me was when we found out DD was sick, so I knew something must be really bad if they were making the appointment for me.  So I wait a week and ask if the appointment had been made yet, and they tell me they haven't done it yet.  I got a call about 2 weeks ago from an oncology center telling me my doc wanted me to make an appointment.  Talk about freaking me out, again, but it turned out the hematologist I was supposed to see works there.

So, yesterday I went in for the appointment and am annoyed by the possible diagnosis. The doc says that I'm a cross-breed because I have symptoms of iron deficient anemia but my organ tests show I have hemochromatosis/iron overload.

He acted at first like I should know what's wrong with me, but he soon figured out that no one else in my family has been diagnosed with this. It's either hereditary or something else is causing it, but more than likely it's hereditary so they are running a genetic test to confirm the diagnosis. It's also possible that hemochromatosis is what caused my hypothyroidism and diabetes. My blood iron levels are low but my organ levels were more than double what they should be. If it is hemochromatosis, then iron is building up in my organs because my body can't metabolize it correctly.  He said that by having longer AF's, it benefits me because it gets rid of some of the excess iron (that's the only benefit I see from it).

The good news is that pregnancy isn't affected by it, and can actually help the condition because it lowers iron levels naturally. The bad news is that in order to get my ferritin/body iron levels down to normal, I have to go in once a week or so (after they confirm the diagnosis) and have them take a pint of blood. Once my levels get down to normal, I have to continue to have it done 1-4 times per year. I hate getting stuck and that woozy feeling afterwards, not sure if I can put up with it each week. I used to give blood all the time but stopped after I passed out after giving once and another time the blood clotted in the needle.

The bright side is that once they start doing the phlebotomy/taking the blood, that it can help with my hypo, diabetes, and reduce inflammation around the body enough that I may be able to lose weight. It also won't hurt me or affect the treatment if I do get pregnant, and with DH being pure Latino, it's not very likely that he's a carrier as Caucasions, Africans, and Northern Europeans are most likely to be carriers or have hereditary hemochromatosis.

Onto the semi-sucky part...I have to completely change the way I eat.  I said a few weeks ago that I wanted to try to go vegan but wasn't able to stick to it, well, pretty much this diagnosis forces me to go to a vegan diet if I want to eat anything and get rid of the excess iron. I can't have red meat, use cast iron skillets, eat fish or shellfish, I have to cut down on my intake of animal-based fats, I can't take any supplements that include iron or Vitamin C, can't have sugar, can't eat any foods high in Vitamin C or iron, I can't have iron fortified cereals, I have to buy water that has no added iron, and whole grains (with the exception of brown rice) are out.  Pretty much I can have very limited amounts of  poultry, brown rice, fruits, vegetables, seeds, nuts, and limited amounts of low/no fat dairy.

Vitamin C and sugar enhance the absorption of iron, and since I have too much iron, they go by the wayside, which sucks because I love citrus fruits and am a sugar junky (though I try not to overdo it on the sugar anymore).  Whole grains, with the exception of brown rice, are high in iron, so they are gone.  Any foods that are iron-fortified or Vitamin C-fortified are out.  I really had a difficult time with this when I was going vegan just to do it, now that I have to do it, it's going to make things harder.  Plus, I've read that I should be drinking lots of black coffee or unsweetened tea (preferably decaffeinated) because the tannins in them fight the free radicals that the excess iron produces and can help eliminate some of the excess iron.

What really sucks for my family is that if this is hereditary, anyone in my family can have this. I've tried to convince my parents and DH for awhile that we should go vegan/vegetarian and if they end up with hereditary hemochromatosis, too, they'll have to even if they don't want to.  It sucks for them since it's not a lifestyle they want, but more than that it sucks to have to watch for iron on food labels. Once my levels get down to the low end of normal, then I won't have to do the phlebotomy/blood-letting and I can introduce small amounts of foods with iron in them again.  I see this as a benefit to me and my parents since we all have diabetes because if we have to give up sugar, then we can possibly get rid of the diabetes.

This is going to be a tough transition and what's going to make it even harder is that we are going on a trip to visit family in Vegas.  DH's family is very big on cooking, and specifically non-vegan foods, not even foods that are vegan friendly.  I'm thankful to God that He got me a diagnosis and that He's forcing me into a lifestyle that I wanted but wasn't strong enough (willpower-wise) to do on my own. He's giving me motivation by showing me I can get pregnant with this disease and live that lifestyle. He's guiding me down the path that He wants me on. I know He'll be holding my hand during this transition and even afterwards, but I'm hopeful that this is the final diagnosis I need to move forward.  I'm hoping God is going to bless us soon with the baby or babies we want.

Baby Race...Maybe

A lot of women who haven't had trouble with infertility won't understand this feeling I've had lately, though a lot of women who have waited till later in life to have children will completely understand. It's hard to watch the people around you have babies when you want one of your own, it's especially hard if you have fertility issues like I and millions of other women have.

It's like every woman around you is having kids and every pregnancy announcement is a slap in the face. You dread even checking your facebook wall because you don't want to know who else is pregnant now. It was a slap in the face to me that, of all people, Kim Kardashian got pregnant before me. No, I don't know her personally but I don't agree with having a child with one man while married to another, no matter if they are in the midst of a divorce.

Recently, I attended a baby shower for my cousin's wife. I don't know her well and don't see them much except for at the occasional family function. I don't begrudge them a baby because they've had a loss just like I have. Those are actually the babies that I am happy to see are coming. Then I noticed something that really has my biological clock revving up to overdrive.

My 24 year-old cousin, T, just got married in December. It was a beautiful wedding but some of the circumstances had us questioning whether it was a "shotgun wedding" because it seemed rather rushed. We wondered if maybe because of their religious beliefs, T and her hubby weren't saying anything because they didn't want people to think they were having sex out of wedlock. Turns out she's not prego but at the baby shower she made it a point to say they were going to wait until summer 2014 before they start TTC.

Now, to a woman that has kids, that statement wouldn't bother them. After all, most newlyweds are constantly fielding the question as to when they are going to have kids.  But to me, who has baby fever after a forced 4 month break from TTC because of my thyroid, that is like flashing a sign in front of my face that says: "Warning...Your Cousin Who Is 8 Years Younger Than YOU Could Have a Baby Before YOU!!!"

So, I try to ignore that sign and continue on at the shower as if nothing is happening. After all, most of that side of my family doesn't even believe DH and I should have kids after what happened with our angels and because of DH's chromosome defect. I don't even discuss it with them because at this point, after almost 7 years of TTC from start (before getting pg with DD) to now, I don't believe it's any of their business since they have that attitude about us having kids. I know they think that because they don't want to see us go through anymore losses, but it hurts my feelings because we want kids and they don't want that for us.

We get to the game portion of the shower and we play this game where you match candy bar names to pregnancy & birthing terms.  After it was over, the sister of the mommy-to-be offered blank copies of the game to anyone who wanted it for future use. Well, my aunt, T's mom, jumps up and gets one. You have to know my aunt to see what I was seeing. She's not a planner by any means and she doesn't really host a lot of parties. This made me begin to wonder if maybe T and her hubby are TTC but not telling anyone but their parents.

So, now I'm on a mission to have a baby before T and her hubby. We start TTC again this cycle. Keeping our fingers crossed that we have one by the end of the year.