For the first time since I started using progesterone cream 3 years ago, I've had a cycle that it hasn't worked. Unfortunately, it's the first cycle using the clomid and hcg trigger. I stopped using the progesterone cream going on 9 days ago and no sign of AF. Normally, AF will start before I even finish 14 days on the cream.
I'm at a loss as to what's going on. I took a pregnancy test a week ago and it was a BFN. The only thing I can figure is that I O'd after I started the prog cream and I have to wait it out. I started temping again hoping to catch a temp drop so I'd know AF is coming but my temps are up and haven't shown any signs of coming down. I've also been temping before bed each night because I know I run a low grade fever post-O and my temps have been higher than 98.6 the last 3 days.
I don't want to get my hopes up and part of me is really hoping that I am PG. The other part of me just wants AF to start already so we can start the next cycle. I just want something to happen one way or the other.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Monday, May 13, 2013
First Trigger Shot Failed
Unfortunately, our first trigger shot failed. I think it was partly because our ob/gyn didn't quite do it right. He told us to do it on CD14-16, so we did. After talking to a few others, I found out that we should have been doing OPKs to predict when I had an LH surge then do it when I got a positive OPK no matter what CD it was. So, we have a plan for next time but we have to wait a cycle because our ob/gyn is out of town on vacation until after my next cycle will have started, but I'm okay with that because I heard a lot of women who don't respond to the HCG can develop cysts and can't trigger the next cycle because of that, so I'd rather wait a cycle than waste the money on a cycle that we can't trigger on anyways.
I'm also trying Raw Apple Cider Vinegar. I'm adding one ounce twice a day to OJ and hoping to get some positive results from it. I've read that quite a few women with similar symptoms as me (not Oing) have done this and started Oing on their own. I've also heard for many years that it can help with weight loss but I'm not a fan of vinegar and not a huge fan of apple cider, so I didn't try it, but now that it can possibly help me with Oing, I'll try it. I'm hoping it'll kill 3 birds with one stone: help me lose some of the 110 pounds hypothyroidism helped me put on, hoping it will make me start Oing on my own, and hoping it will clear up my granuloma annulare (an auto-immune related skin rash) that I've had for years.
I'll keep you all updated.
I'm also trying Raw Apple Cider Vinegar. I'm adding one ounce twice a day to OJ and hoping to get some positive results from it. I've read that quite a few women with similar symptoms as me (not Oing) have done this and started Oing on their own. I've also heard for many years that it can help with weight loss but I'm not a fan of vinegar and not a huge fan of apple cider, so I didn't try it, but now that it can possibly help me with Oing, I'll try it. I'm hoping it'll kill 3 birds with one stone: help me lose some of the 110 pounds hypothyroidism helped me put on, hoping it will make me start Oing on my own, and hoping it will clear up my granuloma annulare (an auto-immune related skin rash) that I've had for years.
I'll keep you all updated.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Lunaception Update
For the first time since I began practicing lunaception, I have a cycle that matches up with it. The new moon was on the 14th of April & that was the first day of my new cycle.
According to my lunaception research, a new cycle should start on the new moon & ovulation should occur on the full moon. I'm due to get my hcg trigger shot the day after the full moon (the 26th). We are really hopeful that we can catch the egg this first triggered cycle.
According to my lunaception research, a new cycle should start on the new moon & ovulation should occur on the full moon. I'm due to get my hcg trigger shot the day after the full moon (the 26th). We are really hopeful that we can catch the egg this first triggered cycle.
Monday, April 15, 2013
First Cycle with Trigger Shot
Well, despite well-laid plans, I started spotting on our vacation, but it was towards the end of the trip, so it wasn't too bad. I'm going onto day 3 of clomid tomorrow morning and will be doing the trigger shot on April 25th...praying that we catch it.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Fantastic News!!!
I went for a consultation with my new OB/GYN today and absolutely love him. After explaining my situation (hypothyroidism, diabetes, hemochromatosis), he did not once mention my weight (or needing to lose weight). He went through the info from our old perinatalogist and was like, "You've had a lot of heartache when it comes to this. Do you want more children?" When I said yes, he gave us 3 options.
1. Clomid with HCG trigger injections
2. Referral to a Fertility Specialist for more extensive fertility treatments
3. To do an endometrial biopsy to find out what is causing my issues.
After some discussion, we both agreed that my hypothyroidism and the slightly elevated testosterone (why I'm on metformin because my diabetes is a very mild case) were the more likely culprits so option #3 left the table. I told him that I know DH and I can't afford more extensive infertility treatments right now and that I know I wouldn't be taken on as a patient because of my weight, which he agreed was a likely scenario, so option #2 is off the table, too. So, in a few days I'm going to be starting my progesterone cream for 2 weeks to begin a new cycle before the end of this month. DH and I will be going to visit his family in Las Vegas in a few weeks (right after I finish the round of clomid) and luckily it falls in that in between time. Then four days after we get back from Vegas, it'll be the day I go into the doctor's office to get the HCG trigger shot.
Hopefully, we will be successful the first month of trying. We are kind of hoping for twins but will be happy with any number as long as they are healthy and full term. I finally feel like God is guiding us down the path He wants us on and it's our time. I'd still love to have a baby before the end of this year, but I'll take early next year if I have to.
1. Clomid with HCG trigger injections
2. Referral to a Fertility Specialist for more extensive fertility treatments
3. To do an endometrial biopsy to find out what is causing my issues.
After some discussion, we both agreed that my hypothyroidism and the slightly elevated testosterone (why I'm on metformin because my diabetes is a very mild case) were the more likely culprits so option #3 left the table. I told him that I know DH and I can't afford more extensive infertility treatments right now and that I know I wouldn't be taken on as a patient because of my weight, which he agreed was a likely scenario, so option #2 is off the table, too. So, in a few days I'm going to be starting my progesterone cream for 2 weeks to begin a new cycle before the end of this month. DH and I will be going to visit his family in Las Vegas in a few weeks (right after I finish the round of clomid) and luckily it falls in that in between time. Then four days after we get back from Vegas, it'll be the day I go into the doctor's office to get the HCG trigger shot.
Hopefully, we will be successful the first month of trying. We are kind of hoping for twins but will be happy with any number as long as they are healthy and full term. I finally feel like God is guiding us down the path He wants us on and it's our time. I'd still love to have a baby before the end of this year, but I'll take early next year if I have to.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Good News...Bad News
I had an incident of my menometrogghia last cycle and compared to 2 years ago when I last had it, it was fairly mild. I did, however, end up going to the doctor's office on Jan. 5 because I wanted to be sure that it wasn't caused by my thyroid meds and also because I was having multiple incidents of rapid heartbeat. They ran an EKG and bloodwork on me assuring me that the rapid heartbeat was probably caused by anemia due to how long AF had been lasting. They also told me to start taking my iron again and it should help the rapid heartbeat.
The next day I get a call from them saying that they were calling in a prescription for iron into my pharmacy because my blood iron levels were very low but they'd also requested more intensive deep organ iron levels as well and they'd let me know the results. I didn't have time to fill it that day, so after I got off work my mom was going to take me to the pharmacy since DH had our car. Just before we were getting ready to leave to get the iron pills, the doctors office calls me and tells me "Don't take the iron pills. Something came up on the other test we ran and we aren't sure what to make of it. We are going to make you an appointment with a hematologist. We'll call you when we get the appointment set up."
Talk about freaking me out. The only other time I've had a doctor's office make an appointment for me was when we found out DD was sick, so I knew something must be really bad if they were making the appointment for me. So I wait a week and ask if the appointment had been made yet, and they tell me they haven't done it yet. I got a call about 2 weeks ago from an oncology center telling me my doc wanted me to make an appointment. Talk about freaking me out, again, but it turned out the hematologist I was supposed to see works there.
So, yesterday I went in for the appointment and am annoyed by the possible diagnosis. The doc says that I'm a cross-breed because I have symptoms of iron deficient anemia but my organ tests show I have hemochromatosis/iron overload.
He acted at first like I should know what's wrong with me, but he soon figured out that no one else in my family has been diagnosed with this. It's either hereditary or something else is causing it, but more than likely it's hereditary so they are running a genetic test to confirm the diagnosis. It's also possible that hemochromatosis is what caused my hypothyroidism and diabetes. My blood iron levels are low but my organ levels were more than double what they should be. If it is hemochromatosis, then iron is building up in my organs because my body can't metabolize it correctly. He said that by having longer AF's, it benefits me because it gets rid of some of the excess iron (that's the only benefit I see from it).
The good news is that pregnancy isn't affected by it, and can actually help the condition because it lowers iron levels naturally. The bad news is that in order to get my ferritin/body iron levels down to normal, I have to go in once a week or so (after they confirm the diagnosis) and have them take a pint of blood. Once my levels get down to normal, I have to continue to have it done 1-4 times per year. I hate getting stuck and that woozy feeling afterwards, not sure if I can put up with it each week. I used to give blood all the time but stopped after I passed out after giving once and another time the blood clotted in the needle.
The bright side is that once they start doing the phlebotomy/taking the blood, that it can help with my hypo, diabetes, and reduce inflammation around the body enough that I may be able to lose weight. It also won't hurt me or affect the treatment if I do get pregnant, and with DH being pure Latino, it's not very likely that he's a carrier as Caucasions, Africans, and Northern Europeans are most likely to be carriers or have hereditary hemochromatosis.
Onto the semi-sucky part...I have to completely change the way I eat. I said a few weeks ago that I wanted to try to go vegan but wasn't able to stick to it, well, pretty much this diagnosis forces me to go to a vegan diet if I want to eat anything and get rid of the excess iron. I can't have red meat, use cast iron skillets, eat fish or shellfish, I have to cut down on my intake of animal-based fats, I can't take any supplements that include iron or Vitamin C, can't have sugar, can't eat any foods high in Vitamin C or iron, I can't have iron fortified cereals, I have to buy water that has no added iron, and whole grains (with the exception of brown rice) are out. Pretty much I can have very limited amounts of poultry, brown rice, fruits, vegetables, seeds, nuts, and limited amounts of low/no fat dairy.
Vitamin C and sugar enhance the absorption of iron, and since I have too much iron, they go by the wayside, which sucks because I love citrus fruits and am a sugar junky (though I try not to overdo it on the sugar anymore). Whole grains, with the exception of brown rice, are high in iron, so they are gone. Any foods that are iron-fortified or Vitamin C-fortified are out. I really had a difficult time with this when I was going vegan just to do it, now that I have to do it, it's going to make things harder. Plus, I've read that I should be drinking lots of black coffee or unsweetened tea (preferably decaffeinated) because the tannins in them fight the free radicals that the excess iron produces and can help eliminate some of the excess iron.
What really sucks for my family is that if this is hereditary, anyone in my family can have this. I've tried to convince my parents and DH for awhile that we should go vegan/vegetarian and if they end up with hereditary hemochromatosis, too, they'll have to even if they don't want to. It sucks for them since it's not a lifestyle they want, but more than that it sucks to have to watch for iron on food labels. Once my levels get down to the low end of normal, then I won't have to do the phlebotomy/blood-letting and I can introduce small amounts of foods with iron in them again. I see this as a benefit to me and my parents since we all have diabetes because if we have to give up sugar, then we can possibly get rid of the diabetes.
This is going to be a tough transition and what's going to make it even harder is that we are going on a trip to visit family in Vegas. DH's family is very big on cooking, and specifically non-vegan foods, not even foods that are vegan friendly. I'm thankful to God that He got me a diagnosis and that He's forcing me into a lifestyle that I wanted but wasn't strong enough (willpower-wise) to do on my own. He's giving me motivation by showing me I can get pregnant with this disease and live that lifestyle. He's guiding me down the path that He wants me on. I know He'll be holding my hand during this transition and even afterwards, but I'm hopeful that this is the final diagnosis I need to move forward. I'm hoping God is going to bless us soon with the baby or babies we want.
The next day I get a call from them saying that they were calling in a prescription for iron into my pharmacy because my blood iron levels were very low but they'd also requested more intensive deep organ iron levels as well and they'd let me know the results. I didn't have time to fill it that day, so after I got off work my mom was going to take me to the pharmacy since DH had our car. Just before we were getting ready to leave to get the iron pills, the doctors office calls me and tells me "Don't take the iron pills. Something came up on the other test we ran and we aren't sure what to make of it. We are going to make you an appointment with a hematologist. We'll call you when we get the appointment set up."
Talk about freaking me out. The only other time I've had a doctor's office make an appointment for me was when we found out DD was sick, so I knew something must be really bad if they were making the appointment for me. So I wait a week and ask if the appointment had been made yet, and they tell me they haven't done it yet. I got a call about 2 weeks ago from an oncology center telling me my doc wanted me to make an appointment. Talk about freaking me out, again, but it turned out the hematologist I was supposed to see works there.
So, yesterday I went in for the appointment and am annoyed by the possible diagnosis. The doc says that I'm a cross-breed because I have symptoms of iron deficient anemia but my organ tests show I have hemochromatosis/iron overload.
He acted at first like I should know what's wrong with me, but he soon figured out that no one else in my family has been diagnosed with this. It's either hereditary or something else is causing it, but more than likely it's hereditary so they are running a genetic test to confirm the diagnosis. It's also possible that hemochromatosis is what caused my hypothyroidism and diabetes. My blood iron levels are low but my organ levels were more than double what they should be. If it is hemochromatosis, then iron is building up in my organs because my body can't metabolize it correctly. He said that by having longer AF's, it benefits me because it gets rid of some of the excess iron (that's the only benefit I see from it).
The good news is that pregnancy isn't affected by it, and can actually help the condition because it lowers iron levels naturally. The bad news is that in order to get my ferritin/body iron levels down to normal, I have to go in once a week or so (after they confirm the diagnosis) and have them take a pint of blood. Once my levels get down to normal, I have to continue to have it done 1-4 times per year. I hate getting stuck and that woozy feeling afterwards, not sure if I can put up with it each week. I used to give blood all the time but stopped after I passed out after giving once and another time the blood clotted in the needle.
The bright side is that once they start doing the phlebotomy/taking the blood, that it can help with my hypo, diabetes, and reduce inflammation around the body enough that I may be able to lose weight. It also won't hurt me or affect the treatment if I do get pregnant, and with DH being pure Latino, it's not very likely that he's a carrier as Caucasions, Africans, and Northern Europeans are most likely to be carriers or have hereditary hemochromatosis.
Onto the semi-sucky part...I have to completely change the way I eat. I said a few weeks ago that I wanted to try to go vegan but wasn't able to stick to it, well, pretty much this diagnosis forces me to go to a vegan diet if I want to eat anything and get rid of the excess iron. I can't have red meat, use cast iron skillets, eat fish or shellfish, I have to cut down on my intake of animal-based fats, I can't take any supplements that include iron or Vitamin C, can't have sugar, can't eat any foods high in Vitamin C or iron, I can't have iron fortified cereals, I have to buy water that has no added iron, and whole grains (with the exception of brown rice) are out. Pretty much I can have very limited amounts of poultry, brown rice, fruits, vegetables, seeds, nuts, and limited amounts of low/no fat dairy.
Vitamin C and sugar enhance the absorption of iron, and since I have too much iron, they go by the wayside, which sucks because I love citrus fruits and am a sugar junky (though I try not to overdo it on the sugar anymore). Whole grains, with the exception of brown rice, are high in iron, so they are gone. Any foods that are iron-fortified or Vitamin C-fortified are out. I really had a difficult time with this when I was going vegan just to do it, now that I have to do it, it's going to make things harder. Plus, I've read that I should be drinking lots of black coffee or unsweetened tea (preferably decaffeinated) because the tannins in them fight the free radicals that the excess iron produces and can help eliminate some of the excess iron.
What really sucks for my family is that if this is hereditary, anyone in my family can have this. I've tried to convince my parents and DH for awhile that we should go vegan/vegetarian and if they end up with hereditary hemochromatosis, too, they'll have to even if they don't want to. It sucks for them since it's not a lifestyle they want, but more than that it sucks to have to watch for iron on food labels. Once my levels get down to the low end of normal, then I won't have to do the phlebotomy/blood-letting and I can introduce small amounts of foods with iron in them again. I see this as a benefit to me and my parents since we all have diabetes because if we have to give up sugar, then we can possibly get rid of the diabetes.
This is going to be a tough transition and what's going to make it even harder is that we are going on a trip to visit family in Vegas. DH's family is very big on cooking, and specifically non-vegan foods, not even foods that are vegan friendly. I'm thankful to God that He got me a diagnosis and that He's forcing me into a lifestyle that I wanted but wasn't strong enough (willpower-wise) to do on my own. He's giving me motivation by showing me I can get pregnant with this disease and live that lifestyle. He's guiding me down the path that He wants me on. I know He'll be holding my hand during this transition and even afterwards, but I'm hopeful that this is the final diagnosis I need to move forward. I'm hoping God is going to bless us soon with the baby or babies we want.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Baby Race...Maybe
A lot of women who haven't had trouble with infertility won't understand this feeling I've had lately, though a lot of women who have waited till later in life to have children will completely understand. It's hard to watch the people around you have babies when you want one of your own, it's especially hard if you have fertility issues like I and millions of other women have.
It's like every woman around you is having kids and every pregnancy announcement is a slap in the face. You dread even checking your facebook wall because you don't want to know who else is pregnant now. It was a slap in the face to me that, of all people, Kim Kardashian got pregnant before me. No, I don't know her personally but I don't agree with having a child with one man while married to another, no matter if they are in the midst of a divorce.
Recently, I attended a baby shower for my cousin's wife. I don't know her well and don't see them much except for at the occasional family function. I don't begrudge them a baby because they've had a loss just like I have. Those are actually the babies that I am happy to see are coming. Then I noticed something that really has my biological clock revving up to overdrive.
My 24 year-old cousin, T, just got married in December. It was a beautiful wedding but some of the circumstances had us questioning whether it was a "shotgun wedding" because it seemed rather rushed. We wondered if maybe because of their religious beliefs, T and her hubby weren't saying anything because they didn't want people to think they were having sex out of wedlock. Turns out she's not prego but at the baby shower she made it a point to say they were going to wait until summer 2014 before they start TTC.
Now, to a woman that has kids, that statement wouldn't bother them. After all, most newlyweds are constantly fielding the question as to when they are going to have kids. But to me, who has baby fever after a forced 4 month break from TTC because of my thyroid, that is like flashing a sign in front of my face that says: "Warning...Your Cousin Who Is 8 Years Younger Than YOU Could Have a Baby Before YOU!!!"
So, I try to ignore that sign and continue on at the shower as if nothing is happening. After all, most of that side of my family doesn't even believe DH and I should have kids after what happened with our angels and because of DH's chromosome defect. I don't even discuss it with them because at this point, after almost 7 years of TTC from start (before getting pg with DD) to now, I don't believe it's any of their business since they have that attitude about us having kids. I know they think that because they don't want to see us go through anymore losses, but it hurts my feelings because we want kids and they don't want that for us.
We get to the game portion of the shower and we play this game where you match candy bar names to pregnancy & birthing terms. After it was over, the sister of the mommy-to-be offered blank copies of the game to anyone who wanted it for future use. Well, my aunt, T's mom, jumps up and gets one. You have to know my aunt to see what I was seeing. She's not a planner by any means and she doesn't really host a lot of parties. This made me begin to wonder if maybe T and her hubby are TTC but not telling anyone but their parents.
So, now I'm on a mission to have a baby before T and her hubby. We start TTC again this cycle. Keeping our fingers crossed that we have one by the end of the year.
It's like every woman around you is having kids and every pregnancy announcement is a slap in the face. You dread even checking your facebook wall because you don't want to know who else is pregnant now. It was a slap in the face to me that, of all people, Kim Kardashian got pregnant before me. No, I don't know her personally but I don't agree with having a child with one man while married to another, no matter if they are in the midst of a divorce.
Recently, I attended a baby shower for my cousin's wife. I don't know her well and don't see them much except for at the occasional family function. I don't begrudge them a baby because they've had a loss just like I have. Those are actually the babies that I am happy to see are coming. Then I noticed something that really has my biological clock revving up to overdrive.
My 24 year-old cousin, T, just got married in December. It was a beautiful wedding but some of the circumstances had us questioning whether it was a "shotgun wedding" because it seemed rather rushed. We wondered if maybe because of their religious beliefs, T and her hubby weren't saying anything because they didn't want people to think they were having sex out of wedlock. Turns out she's not prego but at the baby shower she made it a point to say they were going to wait until summer 2014 before they start TTC.
Now, to a woman that has kids, that statement wouldn't bother them. After all, most newlyweds are constantly fielding the question as to when they are going to have kids. But to me, who has baby fever after a forced 4 month break from TTC because of my thyroid, that is like flashing a sign in front of my face that says: "Warning...Your Cousin Who Is 8 Years Younger Than YOU Could Have a Baby Before YOU!!!"
So, I try to ignore that sign and continue on at the shower as if nothing is happening. After all, most of that side of my family doesn't even believe DH and I should have kids after what happened with our angels and because of DH's chromosome defect. I don't even discuss it with them because at this point, after almost 7 years of TTC from start (before getting pg with DD) to now, I don't believe it's any of their business since they have that attitude about us having kids. I know they think that because they don't want to see us go through anymore losses, but it hurts my feelings because we want kids and they don't want that for us.
We get to the game portion of the shower and we play this game where you match candy bar names to pregnancy & birthing terms. After it was over, the sister of the mommy-to-be offered blank copies of the game to anyone who wanted it for future use. Well, my aunt, T's mom, jumps up and gets one. You have to know my aunt to see what I was seeing. She's not a planner by any means and she doesn't really host a lot of parties. This made me begin to wonder if maybe T and her hubby are TTC but not telling anyone but their parents.
So, now I'm on a mission to have a baby before T and her hubby. We start TTC again this cycle. Keeping our fingers crossed that we have one by the end of the year.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Trying to De-Stress Myself
In my last post I mentioned just how stressed I am about not TTC, and it was definitely true. I'm envious of those people that get PG so easily because I've never been one of them.
I really think my thyroid meds have my hormones so out of whack that I don't really know what to think half the time. I'm taking time out to evaluate what it is that DH and I need now, and I think I really need to just let this go until my thyroid gets regulated.
I'm not giving up, but I'm not making it easy to stress myself out about it. I'm hiding my BBT thermometer, OPKs, and PG tests so I won't be tempted to temp or pee on anything. I think I need to totally put it out of my head at this time.
I am hoping my thyroid will regulate within the next 6 months, still and will proceed to the RE if it's not. I am also hoping to find a full time job, either at home or outside of the home, so DH and I can relieve one more stressful burden, living with my parents.
We both are hoping that finding good ways to combat the stress of our situation will make this forced break easier.
I really think my thyroid meds have my hormones so out of whack that I don't really know what to think half the time. I'm taking time out to evaluate what it is that DH and I need now, and I think I really need to just let this go until my thyroid gets regulated.
I'm not giving up, but I'm not making it easy to stress myself out about it. I'm hiding my BBT thermometer, OPKs, and PG tests so I won't be tempted to temp or pee on anything. I think I need to totally put it out of my head at this time.
I am hoping my thyroid will regulate within the next 6 months, still and will proceed to the RE if it's not. I am also hoping to find a full time job, either at home or outside of the home, so DH and I can relieve one more stressful burden, living with my parents.
We both are hoping that finding good ways to combat the stress of our situation will make this forced break easier.
Friday, October 26, 2012
So Frustrating
It has been so stressful not TTC this cycle, and I know this stress is going to continue as long as we are on this forced break.
I figured it would be easy because I stopped temping, using OPKs, and checking CM & CP but it hasn't been easy to just relax and stop trying all together. Of course, part of me wants to keep trying and the other part of me is saying that I know this break is for the best.
I guess I just kinda feel like this break is taking even more time away that we can't get back. I mean, when we started TTC almost 7 years ago, we thought at this point we'd have a couple of healthy, living children. Now, every time I babysit my nephews or my best friends kids, I can't help but think, "If we have kids, these kids are going to be old enough to babysit for us by the time our kids are this age." Then part of me wonders if it's ever going to happen.
It's really frustrating to know that I have no control over what is going on, though I am thankful that we finally have everything diagnosed so I'm not fighting an impossible battle. I just feel so discouraged right now, but I do know there's hope and I'm planning for a future with kids. I've decided that I'm going to give my GP until March 15 next year (6 months from diagnosis) to try to get my hypothyroid regulated and if it's not by then, I'm remaking the appointment with the RE that I canceled this month and am going to let her take it from there.
I also realize that even if my levels are within the normal range by that time, I will still have to go to the RE because they won't be optimal for pregnancy. Most GPs only care about getting the levels in a normal lab range, not getting them to an optimum level. I did find some of my lab results from 2 years ago and according to standards set in 2008, the levels were high but it wasn't treated because the lab that ran the test had a higher range they considered normal. This is such crap because I could have been diagnosed then and been regulated by now.
There are a lot of things that I would go back a few years to change and that would be one of them. I'm going to try to relax over the next couple of months and try to forget about TTC. The problem is that I'm just hitting the 6 week mark on my thyroid meds and I want to track my BBTs to see if it's having any effect on my cycles. I don't necessarily want to use it to TTC but I know that if I do track them, it's going to make the TTA (trying to abstain) harder to stick to, especially if I start Oing on my own thanks to the meds.
I figured it would be easy because I stopped temping, using OPKs, and checking CM & CP but it hasn't been easy to just relax and stop trying all together. Of course, part of me wants to keep trying and the other part of me is saying that I know this break is for the best.
I guess I just kinda feel like this break is taking even more time away that we can't get back. I mean, when we started TTC almost 7 years ago, we thought at this point we'd have a couple of healthy, living children. Now, every time I babysit my nephews or my best friends kids, I can't help but think, "If we have kids, these kids are going to be old enough to babysit for us by the time our kids are this age." Then part of me wonders if it's ever going to happen.
It's really frustrating to know that I have no control over what is going on, though I am thankful that we finally have everything diagnosed so I'm not fighting an impossible battle. I just feel so discouraged right now, but I do know there's hope and I'm planning for a future with kids. I've decided that I'm going to give my GP until March 15 next year (6 months from diagnosis) to try to get my hypothyroid regulated and if it's not by then, I'm remaking the appointment with the RE that I canceled this month and am going to let her take it from there.
I also realize that even if my levels are within the normal range by that time, I will still have to go to the RE because they won't be optimal for pregnancy. Most GPs only care about getting the levels in a normal lab range, not getting them to an optimum level. I did find some of my lab results from 2 years ago and according to standards set in 2008, the levels were high but it wasn't treated because the lab that ran the test had a higher range they considered normal. This is such crap because I could have been diagnosed then and been regulated by now.
There are a lot of things that I would go back a few years to change and that would be one of them. I'm going to try to relax over the next couple of months and try to forget about TTC. The problem is that I'm just hitting the 6 week mark on my thyroid meds and I want to track my BBTs to see if it's having any effect on my cycles. I don't necessarily want to use it to TTC but I know that if I do track them, it's going to make the TTA (trying to abstain) harder to stick to, especially if I start Oing on my own thanks to the meds.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Getting it Right
In order to try to boost my chances at getting my thyroid levels as well as my A1C optimized (and below diabetic levels), I'm trying something new. I've been unsuccessful at changing my eating habits in the past because in part that I'm lazy and don't want to have to keep track of every little thing but also because it's hard to keep yourself on track. I also freely admit, I don't like to exercise. I'm a couch potato.
I've tried several different things this year including doing Weight Watchers on my own and doing the Eat to Live program. I believe both of these programs can work wonderfully for people and before I had thyroid issues Weight Watchers worked great for me. What it comes down to, really, is that when you have hypothyroid your metabolism is working at a fraction of the speed it should be at optimally.
Because the thyroid isn't working optimally, it's harder to keep the motivation to continue plugging away at eating on these plans. At first, of course, I lose weight but that doesn't last past the first week. Then it's up and down like a yoyo. It gets frustrating and makes me want to give up. The only problem is, now I have a goal that I want to reach. It may not happen by December 19th when I get the results of the bloodwork for the first 3 months on thyroid meds, and I realize that's okay.
The important thing is that it happens at all. As long as I give it my best effort, it will work eventually. My goal is to get that IVF scholarship from INCIID and be healthy enough to be accepted by a fertility specialist to do it. I'll focus on having the money to pay for the PGD and doing the fundraising after that. It doesn't matter if it takes a year or more to get my levels right, though I pray that it doesn't take that long, what matters is that I get them optimized and get healthy.
I was very upset after researching what the side effects of hypothyroidism are on a fetus because every side effect was something that our baby, Nora, had. Granted, I don't know how much of her condition was caused by hypothyroidism and how much was caused by DH's chromosome defect, but the fact remains that if I had been diagnosed then, she might be alive today.
I realize that my condition did start in pregnancy. I started having a racing heart beat early in pregnancy, I was always tired (the kind of tired where I'd take a nap at work then go home and take a nap plus sleep eight hours or more a night), and I put on weight fast despite eating well the first few months.
This makes me realize just how important getting it right is because if I don't, we might never have children of our own. We have always said we'd like to adopt children as well as having our own, but when that's the only possibility a little part of your heart dies. I'm not saying we wouldn't love that child any less because that would still be our baby, but not getting to be there at birth and not getting to carry it, that would be heartbreaking.
I've tried several different things this year including doing Weight Watchers on my own and doing the Eat to Live program. I believe both of these programs can work wonderfully for people and before I had thyroid issues Weight Watchers worked great for me. What it comes down to, really, is that when you have hypothyroid your metabolism is working at a fraction of the speed it should be at optimally.
Because the thyroid isn't working optimally, it's harder to keep the motivation to continue plugging away at eating on these plans. At first, of course, I lose weight but that doesn't last past the first week. Then it's up and down like a yoyo. It gets frustrating and makes me want to give up. The only problem is, now I have a goal that I want to reach. It may not happen by December 19th when I get the results of the bloodwork for the first 3 months on thyroid meds, and I realize that's okay.
The important thing is that it happens at all. As long as I give it my best effort, it will work eventually. My goal is to get that IVF scholarship from INCIID and be healthy enough to be accepted by a fertility specialist to do it. I'll focus on having the money to pay for the PGD and doing the fundraising after that. It doesn't matter if it takes a year or more to get my levels right, though I pray that it doesn't take that long, what matters is that I get them optimized and get healthy.
I was very upset after researching what the side effects of hypothyroidism are on a fetus because every side effect was something that our baby, Nora, had. Granted, I don't know how much of her condition was caused by hypothyroidism and how much was caused by DH's chromosome defect, but the fact remains that if I had been diagnosed then, she might be alive today.
I realize that my condition did start in pregnancy. I started having a racing heart beat early in pregnancy, I was always tired (the kind of tired where I'd take a nap at work then go home and take a nap plus sleep eight hours or more a night), and I put on weight fast despite eating well the first few months.
This makes me realize just how important getting it right is because if I don't, we might never have children of our own. We have always said we'd like to adopt children as well as having our own, but when that's the only possibility a little part of your heart dies. I'm not saying we wouldn't love that child any less because that would still be our baby, but not getting to be there at birth and not getting to carry it, that would be heartbreaking.
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